My New Favorite Way Funner Toy

Latelies I've been a little not very much happy, and Lady said I down in the dump 'cuz I goes on a walks, and there's not very much funner things to do. I must have killed all the birds, 'cuz there's not any birds to bark at and chase. It's been like a month ago that I gots to kill a Teradactyl, and that was like a month ago, and there was blood everywhere, but now I gets bored on a walk, and then sometimes Greta pees on me by accidents, and so anyway. But Lady gots me a new toy, and she calls it "Ugly Blue Monkey", and it killerates WAY FUNNER GOOD and flails everywhere and its a real monkey not a toy and there's blood everywhere and it's sooooooooo fun. I love my Ugly Blue Monkey. Greta got a new toy too, but it was dumb :)

More Helping

Sometimes I just really like to help a lot and then I help One Guy and Lady and Poppy too. So then this one times, it was two o'clockers in the morning, and there was a noise in the Waltmore Parking lot, and they're not 'posed to do that, so I ran into the front room and I told them to please be quiets right now and 'cause Guy was trying to sleep and they was waking him up and Lady too and Poppy too. And they was quiet, but 'cept they made another noise I think maybe, and so I said little louders "Be Quiet! Be Quiet!!! Be Quiet!!! Please be quiets!!" and they wouldn't so I screamed really really loud as I could for them to shut up and I saids "SSSSSHHHHUUUUUUUTTT UUUUUUPPPPPP!!!!! YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP GUY!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!" and thens they shutted ups, and I helped.

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
8/14/2010
Todays Max and the other Max lefts for Hawaii Island, and we had a way funner party before they left, and everybody hads 22 butterfingers and it was so fun and they'll be back from the Island at Christmas. I think that's tomorrow. Yey!

Dear Diary,
8/15/2010
Max and Ben and the Rollins Stones and Boah never came back from the North Pole yet, and I'm really really mad because they tooks all my Butterfingers and 22 KittyKats candy bars and they were mine and they took them and sometimes I get really really hungry and there's nothin' for me to eat. This is the worst Christmas evers!

Dear Diary,
8/16/2010
Poppy says that the guy with the hot dog and the other guy with the hot dog can't ever come back because Jaws is swimming around the Island and they are scared of Jaws the shark. And I'm really really scared of Jaws because Poppy says that sharks will get you when you haves an Not Funners Bath. I'm gonna go gets my Twilight Team Jacob blanket and go sleep with Lady and One Guy so they won't be scared of the Jaws.

Dear Diary,
8/17/2010
Poppy got grounded for telling me all abouts Jaws the great bite shark. Lady says that Poppy is on thin ice. Poppy is really mad at me. I feel sad. Nobody has evers liked me in my whole life but 'cept Noah and Kim and Kim's One Guy. I wish they were on thin ice too, so I could see them and get my Butterfingers back.

Dear Diary,
8/18/2010
I don't think my friends are ever coming back from Idaho never evers. They lefts to go to Idaho 'cause Lady always eats everything and never shares with anybody and she ate all of the 22 Butterfingers so all those ones nice guys went to Idaho and they're never coming back because Lady pigged all of the Butterfingers.

Chillaxinatin

Hee-Haw!

Lady has a really funners camera in her cell phone that makes you looks like a donkey. Now I'm a Hee-Haw Pee-Paw. Me and Lady and One Guy all say "Hee-Haw! Hee-Haw!" really loud and laugh. Poppy says that the donkey joke is getting really old really fast. I don't even know what that means. But look! I'm a donkey!

TRIBUTE TO CHEWING THINGS UP!!!

These dog toys aren't so very good to chews up. I know ways funner things to chew up!!!


Ways, Ways, Ways Funner Things!!










OK, somes 'portant rules to remembers about making the chewing it up game way funner:

1. Chews up the stuffs your peoples really really loves, likes when they holds something all the times and ignores you for their stupid 'puter games or books or pods and stuff.

2. If your lady or guy says, "this is really expensive; lets put it up high wheres Trilby can't get it," thens that means its good to chews up. Watch your people all the time, 'cause sooner or laters they's will leave that "expensive" fun toy where you can get it.

3. Watch what your people takes with them when they leave you home all alone all days long. They takes things like glasses, shoes, briefcases, purses, and wallets. If you chews up all these things, your peoples can't go to work, and they will stay home and play with you all day. Really, they will. And you won't gets in trouble, either. So do it!! Yay! Chew it up game!!

MY Chicken Bone

So I founds the bestest ever chicken bone on my walks tonight, and Lady tooks it from me, and Lady said that a chicken bones is bad for dogs, and then she ate my chicken bone and wouldn't share. And I never get nothin' to eats around here, and I'm starving to death. People just don't understand that sometimes I gets really really hungry and I never gets nothin' goods to eat. And it was my chicken bone, and Lady ate it all herself, and then she bought Poppy a Big Mac, and One Guy always eats all my dog food with ketchup and he likes ketchup and that's hows you know I'm always telling the truth that I never get nothin' to eat. And I am just skin and bones, and if I look like I'm getting fatters from eating too much you're lying. And I can't wait for my friends from Barrington, Idaho to comes and visits and finally gives me somethin' to eats 'cause I nevers get anything to eat.